The U.S. Navy….Then and Now!
Then – If you smoked, you had an ashtray on your desk.
Now – If you smoke, you get sent outside and treated like a leper,
if you’re lucky.
Then – Mail took weeks to come to the ship.
Now – Every time you get near land, there’s a mob topside to see if
their cell phones work.
Then – If you left the ship it was in Blues or Whites, even in home
port.
Now – The only time you wear Blues or Whites is for ceremonies.
Then – You wore bellbottoms everywhere on the ship.
Now – Bellbottoms are gone and 14 year-old girls wear them
everywhere.
Then – You wore a Dixie cup all day, with every uniform.
Now – It’s not required and you have a choice of different hats..
Then – If you said “damn,” people knew you were annoyed and avoided
you.
Now – If you say “damn” you’d better be talking about a
hydroelectric plant.
Then -The Ships Office yeoman had a typewriter on his desk for doing
daily reports.
Now – Everyone has a computer with Internet access and they wonder
why no work is getting done.
Then – We painted pictures of pretty girls on airplanes to remind us
of home.
Now – We put the real thing in the cockpit.
Then – Your girlfriend was at home, praying you would return alive.
Now – She is on the same ship, praying your condom worked.
Then – If you got drunk off duty, your buddies would take you back
to the ship so you could sleep it off.
Now – If you get drunk off duty, they slap you in rehab and ruin
your career.
Then – Canteens were made out of steel and you could heat coffee or
hot chocolate in them.
Now – Canteens are made of plastic, you can’t heat them because
they’ll melt, and anything inside always tastes like plastic.
Then – Our top officers were professional sailors first. They
commanded respect.
Now – Our top officers are politicians first. They beg not to be
given a wedgie.
Then – They collected enemy intelligence and analyzed it.
Now – They collect our pee and analyze it.
Then – If you didn’t act right, they’d put you on extra duty until
you straightened up.
Now – If you don’t act right, they start a paper trail that follows
you forever.
Then – Medals were awarded to heroes who saved lives at the risk of
their own.
Now – Medals are awarded to people who show up for work most of the
time.
Then – You slept in a barracks, like a soldier.
Now – You sleep in a dormitory, like a college kid.
Then – You ate in a Mess Hall or Galley. It was free and you could
have all the food you wanted.
Now – You eat in a Dining Facility. Every slice of bread or pat of
butter costs, and you can only have one.
Then – If you wanted to relax, you went to the Rec Center, played
pool, smoked and drank beer.
Now -You go to the Community Center and can still play pool, maybe.
Then – If you wanted a quarter beer and conversation, you could go
to the Chief’s or Officers’ Club.
Now – The beer will cost you three dollars and someone is watching
to see how much you drink.
Then – The Exchange had bargains for sailors who didn’t make much
money.
Now – You can get better merchandise and cheaper at Wal-Mart.
Then – If an Admiral wanted to make a presentation, he scribbled
down some notes and a YN spent an hour preparing a bunch of charts.
Now – The Admiral has his entire staff spending days preparing a
Power Point presentation.
Then – We called the enemy things like “Commie Bastards” and “Reds”
because we didn’t like them.
Now – We call the enemy things like “Opposing Forces” and
“Aggressors or Insurgents” so we won’t offend them.
Then – We declared victory when the enemy was dead and all his
things were broken.
Now – We declare victory when the enemy says he is sorry and won’t
do it again..
Then – A commander would put his butt on the line to protect his
people.
Now – A commander will put his people on the line to protect his
butt.